You Don’t Have to Change Who You Are to Lead

A panel of women leaders engages in a discussion titled "Four Paths to the C-Suite," sharing insights and experiences at "Own the Room" conference.

Today I attended “Own the Room,” a one-day leadership event in Ottawa for women in Director and Senior Director roles who feel “almost there” but aren’t breaking through to VP or executive levels. The day focused on a shift many accomplished women need to make: moving beyond effort and experience to build presence, shape perception, and become strategically visible in senior rooms. It promised practical tools—not inspiration or generic advice—and emphasized community, confidence, and intentional career ownership.

And boy, did it deliver.

The event was held at the incredible Bayview Yards. As an Ottawa native and an employee of Export Development Canada, I was shocked that I had never heard of it—or stepped foot inside. Bayview Yards is a one-stop business acceleration hub that gives promising entrepreneurs and technology firms the technical, business, and market capabilities they need to grow from start-up to scale-up. It helps ventures reduce risk, accelerate growth, and contribute to commercial success and economic development in our community.

As someone who has always flirted with the idea of entrepreneurship, this place felt like a cheat code – and I’m so here for it.

But back to the event…

I’m not sure how I first stumbled upon Katy McFee, but I think it was through one of her LinkedIn posts. From there, I found her on Instagram and discovered her podcast, “More Women Promoted.” HELL FUCKING YEAH! The first episode I listened to was “Toxic Boss or Difficult Manager? How to Know If It’s Time to Quit.” I devoured it while walking through the woods, thinking, “I NEED MORE OF THIS.” As I listened to more episodes, I heard Katy promote “Own the Room”—and signed up mid-walk as an early birthday present to myself.

I’m not sure if you’ve ever attended a conference alone, but I HIGHLY recommend it. There is something so magical about getting to meet new people and to be able to build a connection with people you may never see again in your life. For anyone reading this thinking, “I would rather lick a dirty toilet seat than attend a conference alone”, I say, JUST TRY IT. Trust me.

There were SO many nuggets from the day, but the lesson that resonated most with me was about visibility. If you’ve ever thought, “I don’t need to tell anyone about the work I’m doing—as long as I work hard, that hard work will speak for itself,” I’m here to burst your bubble: it won’t. Hard work cannot shape people’s perception of you if they never hear about it.

So, does this mean you need to start bragging about your work to everyone? Also false. Visibility is not about broadcasting every accomplishment; it is about intentionally creating evidence of your leadership for the people whose perception matters. Those people will be different for each of us. Getting clear on who they are—and what evidence they need to see—may be the biggest cheat code of all.

Finally, the most important part of the day was the panel, where we heard from four women who had each paved her own way to the C-Suite. Listening to their bios left me awestruck. They began by reflecting on what their 25-year-old selves would think of everything they have accomplished—and the question immediately brought me back to my own life at 25. I remembered sitting with my mortgage broker as she explained what I could be pre-approved for. When she mentioned that I would be able to afford more as my salary increased, I could barely imagine it. At the time, I was earning $45,000 a year—more money than I had ever seen. She told me that, within a few years, I could probably raise my salary to $70,000 or $80,000. I laughed because that sounded insane. Today, I earn three times what I did then. I think 25-year-old me would be awestruck too.

That reflection gave me something even more important: clarity about the path I want to take from here. For so long, leadership felt like it had to look like the examples I had always seen. But listening to women who carved their own paths showed me that there is no single way to lead—and gave me the permission I needed to believe that I don’t have to change who I am to become a leader. If anything, I need to lean more fully into who I already am: get clear on what I want to achieve, understand the why behind it, and go all in.