Valuing Care: The Missing Link in Men’s Mental Health Crisis

Two hands reaching towards each other, one offering a black paper heart, symbolizing connection and giving.

If you're a human living in this world today, you have likely heard that men are struggling. You have also likely come across concepts like the "male loneliness epidemic" and, if you're a woman, you have likely rolled your eyes. To make matters worse, you have likely also seen a number of experts say that the burden of solving this problem should be on women. Those experts are partially right, but not in the way you think.

In recent years, public discourse has begun to acknowledge the growing challenges facing men—rising suicide rates, declining educational outcomes, emotional isolation, and economic instability (which I have unfortunately seen first hand through the deaths of both my brother and father). These issues are often framed as a “crisis of masculinity,” but I believe the deeper crisis is one of societal values. Specifically, our culture’s persistent undervaluing of care—care for self, care for others, and care for community. Therefore, the real crisis isn't masculinity, it's society's failure to value care. And that failure hurts everyone.

For generations, men have been socialized to equate their worth with their ability to provide financially. This narrow definition of masculinity has left little room for emotional expression, nurturing relationships, or caregiving roles. And in a world where economic stability is increasingly elusive, many men feel they are failing at the very thing they were taught defines them.

But what if the problem isn’t men themselves, but the systems that limit their choices?

Care work—whether it’s parenting, emotional labor, community building, or self-care—is still treated as secondary to paid labor. It’s underpaid, underrecognized, and often invisible. Women— and yes, Feminism—have long fought to elevate the value of care, both in the home and in the economy. And when they do, they’re not just advocating for themselves—they’re creating space for men to be whole.

Caregiving is a human, not gendered, value

If society truly valued caregiving, men would feel freer to choose roles that align with their emotional and relational strengths. They could be present fathers, empathetic partners, and engaged community members without feeling like they’ve failed at being “real men.” They could seek help without shame, express vulnerability without fear, and define success in ways that include connection, healing, and purpose.

Feminist advocacy helps everyone

Women play a vital role in this transformation—not by rescuing men, but by continuing to challenge the systems that devalue care. Their advocacy helps dismantle the very structures that trap men in roles of stoicism and isolation. And men, in turn, must support these efforts—not just by showing up, but by reimagining masculinity in ways that honor care as a strength, not a weakness.

Shared liberation requires shared responsibility

Men can support this by joining the fight to value care—in policy, in workplaces, and in their personal lives. And women can support men by holding space for their healing, while still holding the line on justice and equity.

But when it comes down to it, this isn’t just about gender equity. It’s about human dignity. When we value care, we create a society where everyone—regardless of gender—can thrive. We allow men to be more than providers. We allow them to be whole.

So what can we do?

If you're like me, these conversations often leave me thinking "I totally agree, but how do I contribute to this change?"

If we want to build a society where men can thrive—not just survive— we must start by valuing care as much as we value provision. This means advocating for policies that support caregiving, investing in mental health and education, and challenging cultural norms that equate masculinity with stoicism.

If you're a woman reading this, I invite you to keep pushing for systems that honour care—which can start with your own homes and workplaces.

If you're a man reading this, you need to understand that valuing care helps you too. It gives you the ability to be more than just what you provide—it allows you to be able to lean into a side of yourself that capitalism and patriarchy have fought hard to make you forget. It's time to take back your power.